Hey guys! 😊Welcome to my page if you came here from my insta page or if you randomly came across my blog on the web!
First of all, this post is about my two blogger friends Sivagami (@sivagamavalli) and Harmini (@harminiasokumar) who got some not-so-nice comments on sayat.me recently. That has intrigued me to blog about it in view of educating the society on this matter and my take on it.
So I came across Sivagami’s post on FB about someone commenting the following:
Feeling appalled by that, I was looking at a bigger picture of how I can help curb this issue instead of just giving her moral support. And then I came across Harmini’s post on Instagram:
My Mom always told me, the blueprint of what you see, say and do is inside of you. Meaning if you are filled with goodness, all you see is the good in others. If you only can find things to criticize about, you are filled with so much of those things that you cannot extract beauty from what you see. So see guys, it’s not difficult to analyze what a person is from their comments😊 They are actually unaware that they are exposing that much bad personality about themselves while putting others down.
A person’s action or words will tell you everything you need to know.
Here are other examples:
Came across pic of a beautiful lady wearing an embellished mini dress and my first impression was WOW,she’s gorgeous. She looked perfect. And then I saw one miserable comment from a girl saying ‘There are a lot of marks on your legs.’
Only when I ZOOMED IN I could see that barely visible marks which I would’ve missed if I did not see that comment. So there’s that. You can be the most perfect person in the world, but someone will always bring their magnifying glass around to find the slightest fault in you and exaggerate that. Worse still, if they are your strengths and people see it as flaws.
When you have to criticize someone, do it privately. When you want to applaud someone, do it publicly.❤🌈
I’m going to divide this into two categories-The one GIVING the negative statement & The one RECEIVING the negative statement, just so it makes it clear to understand.
Giver of negative statement:
1) When you find faults in others, you usually have bigger faults of your own and the only way you’re going to feel better is by bringing someone else down so it makes you feel more superior. That I refer to as Cheap Thrill.
2) If you have the slightest feel of jealousy when you see someone else’s achievements/ beauty/ lifestyle, you are actually questioning your own. Because people who are happy with themselves are usually happy for others and vice versa. Instead of feeling jealous, feel inspired.
3) Before you type a negative comment or say something nasty to someone face to face, wait a moment and analyze that sentence. What makes you want to say it? What is your objective and intention? If your goal is to bring them down or embarrass them in the public eye and you feel you could live with that and sleep peacefully at night, go ahead and do it. Because karma really does exist. You are 200% responsible for your actions, good or bad.
4) Before you complain about someone else’s way of living, take a look at yours first. If yours is 100% perfect and no one else is better than you in the whole wide world, then maybe, just maybe, you have the slightest entitlement to comment about others. If not, how about nurturing your own grass first.
5) Is minding other people’s business going to enrich your mind, body and soul or prolong your lifespan in any way? If yes, I’m curious to know how that helps.
6) If you can’t seem to notice the beauty and good in others, chances are you can’t appreciate the beauty in yourself. Learn to love yourself more.
7) Imagine someone saying nasty stuffs to you or your family member. How do you feel about that. “Treat others like how you would like to be treated.”
8) *Quoted from Harmini’s post above*:” If you can’t say it without being anonymous, then what you are saying is wrong, hurtful and unnecessary.” Again, it all boils down to intention.
9) If you can’t say anything more beautiful than silence, then don’t say anything at all. You’ll live.
10) Lastly, when you have so much hatred, frustration, anger and jealousy in you, you basically have a lot of inner conflict. Settle those first and find out how you can achieve inner peace. It’s not only good for you and your health, it’s good for the community as well.
Receiver of negative statement:
1) Your intention is what matters most. When you are your most sincere and authentic self and doing no one any harm, and people still find fault with you, the problem is with them, not you. You don’t have to defend yourself and you don’t owe anyone any explanation.
2) Some criticism may come as feedback. Take the good but discard the bad. Holding on to the bad dissipates your creative energy and that’s only unnecessary.
3) We can’t control how other people behave towards us. We can only control how we react towards them. So keep smiling because nothing irritates them more than seeing you smile when they expect to see you angry.
4) When people are jealous of you, you are usually someone they are not or have something they don’t have.
5) Always remember that things could be worse. Seeing someone tell you something negative openly is better than having someone smile and compliment you but says the opposite behind your back.
6) You cannot banish hate with hate. Only love can banish hate. Sounds crazy but true.
7) Being bold and true to yourself is good. But sometimes there can be other bold people being very opiniated and fixed about their perspectives. Observe how the ‘debate’ is going. You will know if they just keep beating around the bush,being defensive and won’t budge. Let it go and wish them well. That makes you the bigger person.
8) Never seek revenge to those who have wronged you. Karma is greater than revenge.
9) Focus on those who love you for what you are and what you do. They are your inspiration and you are their inspiration.
10) Negative comments are blessings in disguise. Good comments make you happy and appreciated. However, negative comments are the ones which will motivate you and give you that extra push towards success:) Succeed first, don’t explain. Because action speaks louder than words.
This is just a general overview and not directing towards any particular person. This is what I practice and it has helped me in many ways. I’ve had my fair share as well in being a receiver of negative comments, maybe not so much on social media, but more of real-life cases. I used to be a slave to overthinking, being defensive and questioning myself and what I do but just realised about a few months ago, changing the quality of my thoughts turned my life around. Started off with these few basic tips I mentioned above.
I came across this beautiful mother of two on her insta page @mycocktail_life just at the right time! So happy to see other people who roll with your vibe!😍😍 Her caption says it all.
“What we look for is what we WANT TO SEE.”
When others want to find fault in you, that is what they will look for. When they want to look for the good in you, that is what they will look for.
Nevertheless, when someone does you wrong, always give them the benefit of doubt (very difficult thing to do but possible with practice) because I believe there is still some goodness in them.( Also I value my inner peace more than their opinions).No one was born with an intention to hate. It is what one acquires throughout life that makes them what they are. Whether it’s, upbringing, friends, colleagues, social media and their experiences in life. There is still some goodness, if cultivated the right way.
Last but not least, let’s treat one another with utmost respect and love. How else are we going to progress as an individual, let alone as a nation if we can’t start with ourselves. We can all do better than this guys. To all the givers and receivers, God bless you and I know you can find it in you to let go, give & take, and forgive and forget❤
“World peace cannot be achieved if man himself has not achieved inner peace.”